Your dating my daughter

As time passed, you learned to pick up your dates before the cocktail hour, before her dad was feeling extra social and likely to utter the worst words you'd ever heard: "Sit down, son. He meant: "Have I ever bored your folks with pointless stories at lousy holiday parties?

You'd throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST RUNNING AS I AM A DAMNED GOOD SHOT.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does ' LATE' mean to you ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does ' DON' T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

__Yes __No (IF YOU ANSWERED ' YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

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