Divorced dating with teenagers

What is it like, dating after divorce, when you have kids? And I’m not a proponent of letting them in on much – until a relationship is stable.

Well, there are good guys, bad guys, those you can’t quite categorize. Then again, it was one of my sons, age 12 at the time, who was anxious for me to get back out there and meet men.

Amid this whirlwind of confusion it might be tempting to treat your teen as an adult, capable of solving his or her own problems.

But in reality your teen desperately needs you during this time of transition.

On the other hand, I will point out that his younger brother wanted me home and available only to the two of them, though I doubt he would admit as much.

And that in itself reflects how differently our children will react to our forays into dating life. And not only on the openness of our children and the relationship we have with them, but how old they are, how often they see the other parent, and the nature of adventure, I believe our job as parents includes paying close attention to our children’s responses.

Some children may be comfortable with our online dating, our going out, our parade of coffee or drink encounters, or fix-ups for those who still engage in the personal introduction. They’re threatened, they’re jealous, they’re conflicted. Sometimes, they can be more on target when it comes to judging who we’re dating than we are.

The above examples illustrate ways that teens can take advantage of parents that don’t coordinate or share information.

Divorce is never easy for a child regardless of their age, but the teen years pose special challenges. The average teenager is trying to cope with body changes, hormones, peer pressures, the opposite sex, acne, and school work.

Add the break-up of the family to that mix and their world can feel like it is crumbling.

Could I experiences in their post-divorce dating years – everything from the Bad Boys, and the No-Strings-Attached Fun Fests, to the transitional First Love After Divorce.

As to that last, I will mention that some get stuck here, remarry without fully healing, and are later sorry.


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