Perhaps you’ve heard rumors that military marriages have shockingly high divorce rates, or that “only the strongest survive.” What’s the real truth of the matter?Are military marriages on a collision course with divorce court?“All this wishing has led to a case of wanting everything and getting nothing,” Tashiro writes in his first book, “The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love” (Harlequin).Dating should be “about learning to weed out the undesirable traits and rethinking our views about what really matters in a romantic partner.” Our fairy-tale view of romance — 88 percent of adults believe in soul mates — has contributed to the fact that although 90 percent of people will marry in their lifetimes, only three in 10 will find enduring love, Tashiro says. “the nice guy.” Agreeableness, one of the Big Five personality traits in the Five Factor Model of human psychology — the others being extroversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness — describes someone who is “courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured, cooperative, forgiving, soft-hearted and tolerant.” Sure, it’s unsexy, but it’s the most reliable sign that your mate is a keeper for the long haul.In fact, over the years, many researchers and experts have tried to find out how marriages within the military fare when compared to civilian marriages. What We Know—And Don’t Know As it turns out, it’s really hard to compare the military divorce rate to the civilian divorce rate.For one thing, they are tracked differently, by different agencies (and in some states, civilian divorces actually aren’t tracked at all).Instead of embracing vulnerability, police officers are taught to take control of situations, instill peace in the face of chaos, and remain emotionally aloof.Officers are taught to walk towards danger when others have the instinct to run away, and default to assuming control and command presence.
Divorce statistics are analysed by sex, age and marital status before marriage, duration of marriage, age at divorce, the number and age of children involved, and the grounds for divorce.A healthy, lasting, happy marriage is possibly the hardest relationship to maintain.For a long time it was understood that 50% of all marriages would ultimately end in divorce, with at least anecdotal evidence of law enforcement marriages being at even greater risk (with some estimates placing LE divorce rates as high as 75%). Done right, it is incredibly rewarding and fun, but doing it right is something that simply escapes too many well-meaning couples.Divorces of same sex couples are not included since the first marriages of same sex couples did not take place until 29 March 2014.A marriage may be either dissolved, following a petition for divorce and the granting of a decree absolute, or annulled, following a petition for nullity and the awarding of a decree of nullity.Insecure, often raised in or around broken relationships and lacking models of success, and faced with an equally insecure and untutored dating pool, many face weak prospects for relational and marriage success. People still clamor to overcome the pain of troubled relationships, and the issues standing in the way of healing and happiness.